Social Mirror I. Sing your Life

Within 15 minutes of me sending my email asking my friends “What has set me a part from the world in your eyes.” I got this reply below…my immediate reply back “You have brought tears to my eye’s…You have extended an extremely priceless gift upon me. THANK YOU for recognizing me.”

With the recent passing of my friend it reminded me of this email. After I read it I thought to myself that this is what I would like read when I die at my wake. To have these words shared in life is such a gracious amazing gift and we shouldn’t wait for death to recognize the amazing people in our lives.

I remember one of my many trips to New Orleans waiting for the shuttle to the quarter with a bunch of older woman who came for a Jazz Funeral; which they invited me to – the interesting thing was that it was for their friend who was very much alive. She did not want to wait till she died to have a party! I joined the procession; it was special to be a part of these womans lives who clearly had been friends for many years. The were all dressed in black, with purple boas, one woman in a wheel chair; the procession ended up at the graveyard. Where each friend read a piece they had written for ‘Jean’ (“Jean” is what my family calls me). It brought tears to my eye’s to hear how much her friends loved her…

Miss Jeanavive – The Network Girl

September 8th, 2008 My friends email:

“I feel like I am only now coming to know you, and I will try to limit my comments to things that are useful, that can be folded into your little book of self knowledge in a way that allows you whip it out when necessary. As much as it would please me to give you a list of flattering superlatives, I would much rather you be able to tell the story of just how effective you are in the world.

So, let me begin with the entry point to your charms, gracious engagement. You smile earnestly and warmly, listening first and completely before responding. Sometimes I notice that maybe I could have crafted my message to a little better because you listened better than even I did as the words rolled out of my mouth. This is an asset to anyone looking to have you as a partner in their plans. There is a whole world of people who speak quicker than they think, and whether they know it, they require someone like you to flesh out the details of even the smallest of their intentions. That describes the ‘engagement’ part. The ‘gracious’ aspect is that I have never felt small or belittled for how your acute awareness has helped me.

Another important thing I have noticed is that you seem completely unaware of the things that normally segregate people into groups, moving effortlessly among people of every walk of life, speaking to each of them in their language. You are not just gregarious, you are truly and fully the outside insider, or the inside outsider. Fully accepted by all, yet able to step just outside for perspective, this gives you the power to see the dynamic truths of a group of people and what’s happening among them. So that means that you can give them the gift of perspective that could never have achieved themselves.

Now this might sound like some awfully high minded verbiage, but I hope you will accept what might seem like the scant evidence collected watching you engage people at Dan Brown’s, how immediately they felt like telling you all sorts of things, how you challenged them to think just a little bit differently about something they’ve mentioned, note the COMPLETELY ECLECTIC collection of people celebrating your birthday speaking of things ranging from politics to books, to exploration to the finer points of law and ejection mechanisms of world war II infantry light arms.

Yes, you are the network girl because you connect with all kinds of people.. but you are also a kind of inter dimensional shaman chick bringing to each tribe wisdom collected from several other planes of existence all at once. You will forever see their foibles and their bright spots and help them each and everyone use one over the other.

The way you recognize so much in others in empathy, a specially tuned act of imagination. This imagination is, of course fueled by your wide experience and culture.. fueled by your walking amongst and ‘getting’ so many people. It is a self propelled and never ending circle. You’re on a path of fiercely beautiful things darling.”

Network Girl Side Note: I am watching “Meet Joe Black“…there seems to be some synchronization right now around death and how we choose to live our lives. Another movie that moved me this month was ‘The Five People You Meet in Heaven” A movie which covered a man’s life. Which included going back to the 40′s and they were even swing dancing! The man at the end of his life felt he hadn’t done anything with his life; the five people he meets in heaven show him the value of his life (reminded me of the classic Christmas movie).

Also, the beginning of the month I went to the ‘Day of the Dead’ and I carried the photo of my first love Joel Chenoweth with me. It has been a while since I have recognized his life. There was a time about three years ago I remember waking up and crying for him. I have learned to put aside the grief and embrace life; knowing that there is people that I love watching out for me. Both here and on the other side and I have nothing to be sad about.

Morrissey

Oh, sing your life
The things that you love
And the things you loathe
…
Others sang your life
But now is a chance to shine
And have the pleasure of
Saying what you mean
Have the pleasure of
Meaning what you sing
Oh, make no mistake my friend
All of this will end
So sing it now (sing your life)
All the things you love (sing your life)
All the things you loathe
…

Don’t leave it all unsaid
Somewhere in the wasteland of your head
…
And make no mistake, my friend
Your pointless life will end
But before you go
Can you look at the truth ?
You have a lovely singing voice

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