The Engagement of Johnny Stokes & Jeanavive Janssen

Well, I am sure some of you are very surprised about my engagement! …I think my Mom’s email to the family sums up the what:

“I got a surprise phone call from Jean. She is engaged to be married. It was such a surprise because John had broken up with her…Jean did not make it easy for him put him on a 2 month plan to shape up even making him call me to say he was going to get back together with her. Then Wednesday he proposed by the Golden Gate Bridge. She was very surprised. They plan to marry February 14th.”

The How:   A Chance Meeting

After over a month and a half  of not speaking, we had a chance meeting at a 30’s event in SF on Nov. 18th, the spark was still there. He invited me to go to Tosca’s for their Anniversary the following evening…I wasn’t going to go but decided to last minute unannounced…he was surprised…at which time he got my check-list for the next two-months ’sh@t or get off the pot’ scenario…he was happy to see me for sure that evening but pissed off for sure at my requests…I went home that night alone and was very proud of putting my value out on the table regardless of what his reaction was going to be. I specifically chose things he said he would never do…funny, calling my Mom was the scariest thing for him.  He did call and left a message for her, my plan backfired because she called me back to get the scoop – I was trying to avoid having to tell the whole story and wanted him to take lead this time…after hearing about my list…she ended up on his side “if you want him back, you can’t make it that hard on him”…in which I replied, “Yes, I can – I am worth it”.

The Proposal:

November 25th,  2009 – 9:30pm – the proposal.

I actually ended up double booked on November 25th and almost flaked out on the dinner date with Johnny because of a lovely cocktail party that I was enjoying…But I left early for my ‘mystery date’…it was too soon for me to even consider that Johnny and I were going to be an item again so I didn’t say anything to my friends.

We had a lovely dinner in Sausalito where we talked about the following 2-months, and the ’screws’ I had put to Johnny…and him saying “we will see what happens”…after dinner he suggested a cigar so we went to Fort Baker to take a look at the view.  It was a crystal clear evening.  We walked up to a bench and I sat down.   He dropped his lighter and bent down to get it…next thing he pulled out a red box with the most beautiful vintage ring and he proposed.  I was like a deer in the headlights, just starring, and he said “your suppose to say something” I leaned over and gave him a kiss followed by a “yes”…he pulled me up for a hug and I could barely stand.

We walked back to the car & he swung me around and danced with me singing one of his theme songs, “accentuate the positive“.   Then he said that we needed to call his parents, they knew he was proposing and were eager to hear the news…we went home and celebrated with champagne and spent Thanksgiving sharing the news with family…and we spent every day together until Sunday when I needed to pack for my Egypt trip.

I got back from Egypt on December 9th and we are now busily planning for the Wedding on February 14th, 2010 – and NO I am not pregnant.  We are just ready to begin our life together – for real.  We are waiting one year, than we are getting down to baby making…as you all know this will be a BIG life changer for both of us so we will be certainly planning to kick up our heels for the rest of the year.

The HISTORY: YES, Johnny has broken up with me FOUR TIMES over a year and a half…his theme of the break ups.. “I am meant to be alone…you are everywhere” (a tarantula).  Well I am of course everywhere because I AM the NetworkGirl! & he is Mr Social Butterfly as well, but he never noticed me before…

Our relationship has been compared to a movie by several people…We are calling the last episode his “walk about”…he went on a journey and he found me on the other side…

Its been a journey for both of us…I am proud to have loved unconditionally and that I believed in my heart.    I am so very proud of the work he has put into creating space for a life partner.  Good times a head for sure.

(if the betting has started, whether he is going to run, put me down for a thousand that he doesn’t – you can bring me the cash at the wedding… lol. )

Side Story: BELIEVE

We truly do believe there is some type of magic in the works for us…When I had gotten wind that Johnny had been asking for me I decided I would send him a postcard to let him know I was still around…I wrote one word on it BELIEVE – I seriously debated at the mailbox whether I should or shouldn’t send it…I knew no matter what it would have to be different this time if we got back together…I gave it a little kiss and dropped it in the mail (postcard below – he calls me “his sweet little girl & kitten cat”).    The amazing thing, I  forgot to put a stamp on it…but he got it.

A LOVE Formula: (Click Here) by Jeanavive Janssen

A quote from our friend:

“I have to say…I have said this to more than one person…I look at the pictures of you and Johnny and I think your life looks “dreamy”…(there’s a vintage word for you)…..you have fun with other people and you bring so much joy to everyone around you while you are doing it…You two are a joy to watch! The world needs some of that right now:) “  Linda Laurie

Mom sent me a card this year that had a message which I appreciate very much…thanks MOM – LOVE YOU.

“HOW TO MAKE a BEAUTIFUL LIFE”

Reflections for a daughter on her birthday…

Love Yourself.

MAKE PEACE with you you are

and where you are

at this moment in time.

Listen to your heart.

If you can’t hear what it’s saying

in this noisy world

MAKE TIME for yourself.

Enjoy your own company.

Let your mind wander among the stars.

Try.

Take chances.

MAKE MISTAKES.

Life can be messy

and confusing at times

but it’s also full of surprises.

The next rock in your path

might be a stepping-stone.

Be HAPPY

when you don’t have what you want

want what you have

MAKE DO

That’s  a well-kept secret of contentment.

There aren’t any shorcuts to tomorrow.

You have to MAKE YOUR OWN WAY

to know where you’re going

is only part of it

You need to know where you’ve been, too.

And, if you are lost, don’t worry -

The people who love you will find you.

Count on it.

Life isn’t days and years

It’s what you do with time

and with all the goodness and grace

that’s inside you.

MAKE A BEAUTIFUL LIFE…

The kind of life you deserve.

Care Packages are packed and ready to send on Veterans day to my two adopted units overseas; my intro letter -

My name is Jeanavive Janssen, I am 34 yrs. old and live in Oakland, Ca.   I am happy to be ‘adopting’ you; I will be having some of my friends help out as well to keep the care packages fun!

I was raised to honor the men and women that serve.  My uncle was in WWII, Pacific Theatre – Navy.  My father due to health reasons could not serve and because of that he did all he could on the home front to honor those who served (including having me make my bed so a quarter could bounce).

I have carried on the tradition as a WWII Army Nurse Corp re-enactor – I go to USO events and other public living history events in a period correct uniform to educate people and honor the past and now reaching out to you to honor the present.  I actually was thinking about being a corpsman when I was in High School but mom (a registered nurse) said “you would never be able to take orders”…I didn’t pursue it but recently have been doing first response classes and recently a 45^th Field Hospital Re-enactment where we triaged and re-enacted actual scenarios from WWII.

My other hobbies; I am a swing dancer, vintage clothing and love to drive / work on my 1959 Ranchero.

I would love to hear about you and your comrades when time allows – is there anything special I can send? What type of music do you like?

Thank You for your service.

California Organizations

http://www.ourmilitary.mil/StateSupport.aspx?ID=ca

Care Package Organizations
http://www.ourmilitary.mil/care_packages.shtml

Ma’am,

Thank you for taking the time to help us out.  I am a Sergeant First Class in the Army.  Originally I am from Houston Texas.  I have been in the Army since March 1995.  I am married with four children….

We have been here just over 6 months now…There are 20 of us total.  We are comprised of 17 men and 3 women.  We range in age from 50 to 20.

I can barely remember what my hobbies are any more.  I haven’t had a lot of time to do much else except work and watch an occasional movie.  I haven’t had a full day off since we left in April. I’m looking forward to going on leave soon to visit my family for two weeks.  I just hope they let me rest for a few days.  I have to get back to work now.  Take care of yourself and thanks again for your time and appreciation. –

Shawn

Ok, went and did some shopping for the holiday care package I am preparing to send to my adopted soldiers.  I have to say it was a wonderful time!  I went to the .99 cent store to get the most bang for the buck and it was like stuffing stockings for Christmas and I think its because I know how much it will be appreciated upon receipt.

I already know I am going to have to set a BUDGET for these care packages because its easy to go over board and I want to make sure I spread it out till the end of their deployment.

I have had colleagues and family answer my call by sponsoring packages!  its infectious…the more people I tell the more people that want to get involved…I even told the checker at the .99 cent store in West Oakland that everything I bought was going overseas to our troops.   She asked how I got involved and what she could do too.  We agreed next month when I make another care package shopping trip that I would bring more info.

When I was shopping I was sure to include a couple fun things for the holidays, treats for children which I have been told are appreciated because the soldiers give them out…as well, I kept thinking about BURNING MAN – since I attended the event for 6 years as well as doing some heavy set-up with the electrical team I could really appreciate what was valuable to have in the desert – BABY WIPES for one…also, the little odd trinkets that gave us all giggles…big thing at Burning Man was always BACON / PIGS but I don’t think that would be appropriate for a Muslim country.

Letters / Cards – I want lots of them to send!  I am going to bring a bunch of blank cards to a Veterans day event and ask people to fill them out and I think I am going to carry a set with me at all times for waiting in line / or while hanging at the bar or whatever…and tell people about what I am doing & invite them to write a note.

I think this is as good for me as it is for them…sometimes things feel so ‘trivial’…this is valuable.

The Dolce Hayes Mansion, one of the hotels I represent for Team San Jose

is pleased to invite you to their 1^st Annual Dolce Classic Car Show

Saturday, October 24, 2009.

The car show runs from 9am – 4pm, and admission is FREE.  Come enjoy 60 stunning classic vehicles, food, beverages, raffle prizes, live music and more – all on the beautifully landscaped and lush floral setting of the mansion.

More Info

I have been working with my friend from TN who has been doing care packages to troops overseas thru Proud Patriots: http://www.proudpatriots.org/

Unfortunately, they have not been getting the support they need and will close their efforts by the end of the year.
Due to the limited support I have volunteered to take on two sets of adoptees overseas.

The goal is to send min. one package a month to both sets of adoptees.

I was wondering if you would like to help by contributing letters, supplies and money to help cover the costs? I am figuring it will be about $30 for each package -including the $10.35 for the flat rate box.

Let me know if you can help and please forward this to your friends as well.

Contribution IDEAS

COMFORT ITEMS

International Phone cards

Music CDs/DVDs

Batteries (A/AA/AAA/C/D)

Disposable cameras

Baggies of all sizes (they like having something to keep stuff in. Keeps the sand out.)

Air fresheners/Febreeze

Lysol disinfecting wipes

Flystrip

Insect repellent wipes/non-aerosol spray with DEET

HYGIENE/HEALTH

Tooth Brush/Tooth Paste

Mouthwash

Dental Floss

Deodorant

Shampoo

Disposable Razors

Shaving Gel

Hand and Body Lotions

Sunscreen

Feminine hygiene products

Antibiotic cream (Neosporin)

Imodium

FOOD ITEMS

Cookies  (no home-baked goods)

Gum

Power bars/breakfast bars

Sugary Cereals (individual serving boxes)

Raisins

Trail Mix

Little Debbie Snacks

Individual Drink mixes (generic Crystal Light from Wal-Mart is the best)

Condiments (indiv. packets of hot sauce, mayo, mustard, honey, sugar, salt, etc.)

Peanut butter/jelly (no glass jars)

Hacky Sacks

Ear plugs

Magazines with current events

Frisbees

Nerf footballs

Stationery/envelopes

Assorted greeting cards for Soldier to send to family & friends

Dusting cloths

Inexpensive hand-held video games

Hand sanitizer

Nail Clippers

Q-Tips

Antacids

Soap (liquid rather than bars is best)

Eye Drops

Travel-Size Tissues

Foot Powder

Pocket-pack tissues

Blistex

Foot/boot powder

Candy (hard candies. Chocolates and soft candies melt in the summer heat but can be sent during winter. M&Ms can be sent during summer months)

Chips

Pretzels

Tuna-To-Go /Tuna or chicken pouches

Nuts

Snack Crackers (peanut butter/cheese, etc.)

Ramen Noodles

Coffee, sugar, powdered creamer

Dried fruits

Pen Pals

All you need to do is write a friendly note introducing yourself, “Hello, my name is _____ and I live in _____.” You might include your e-mail address since some of the soldiers have access to computers. Then include any additional information about you and your family that you may want to share, i.e., children, grandchildren, school, job, pets, special interests, etc. Ask him/her about himself/herself and his/her family. Then you might tell your soldier that you support the work he/she is doing to protect America’s freedom and are grateful to him/her for his/her willingness to do it. You might tell him/her about any “Support America and the Troops” rallies you have been to or have heard about. Just make it a chatty letter, letting him/her know he/she is not forgotten.

Suggested questions to ask your service-member:

* Birthday
* favorite types of movies
* favorite types of books/magazines
* favorite foods/snacks
* hobbies
* special requests

Helpful Hints

Supporting our troops can be fulfilling, rewarding, patriotic, and quite simple. The problem for many Americans is figuring out how to begin. Here are some tips we hope will help.

1. You don’t have to go bankrupt supporting our Troops. The idea behind care packages is to send a little piece of home to our men and women overseas.

2. If you decide this is what you want to do, don’t allow yourself to be frustrated if you don’t hear back from your military contact. Keep in mind that our Troops are engaged in fighting a war, and may not have time to write you back. For some people, this can be disheartening. But there are some Troops who will wait until they get home to write to you. That happens often. We can honestly say that your support will touch the lives of our Troops and put smiles on their faces, and that’s what it’s all about.

3. To save you from spending too much money and frustration from not hearing back, we recommend you send a small care package. Do the essentials and basics; tooth brush, tooth paste, mouth wash, beef jerky, socks, small games, playing cards, a letter explaining who you are, and whatever else you can think of. Keep in mind that during summer months, it gets VERY hot in Iraq and Afghanistan so don’t send anything that will melt during that time of year.

4. If you receive your care package back, the address is either changed, wrong, or they’re on their way home, (or the USPS can’t deliver it for some unknown reason. This has been known to happen.)

5. If you do establish a relationship with one of our Troops, please keep in mind that they are not supposed to ask for things. If YOU ask them what they’d like, that’s fine. Be prepared to get a variety of requests. The choice of whether you send them or not is up to you.

6. Phone cards should be INTERNATIONAL phone cards and be a minimum of 500 minutes.  AT&T Global cards work well but you can give your service member more time on the phone by ordering phone cards via the Military Exchange Prepaid Calling Cards web page:

https://thor.aafes.com/scs/default.aspx

7. Send small packages rather than large, and not more than 2 or 3 to your service member at a time. They do not have space to store a lot of items.

8. Deodorants need to be roll-on during the summer months. Solid deodorants melt into liquid in the Iraq summer heat and are useless to the soldiers.

9. It is best not to send clothing but should you choose to, please keep in mind that they must conform to military regulations. T-shirts must be brown or tan for Army, navy or green for Marines, black or brown for Air Force.
Boot socks are black. White athletic socks are worn for PT and sometimes under the boot socks.

10. Do NOT include food items in a care package with ANY hygiene items or chemicals of any type (items such as soap, deodorant, bug repellent, etc.).
If you want to send a care package, make it only food items or only non-food items.

11. When helping out the military, please keep in mind that you will have to play by their rules. If they say something is unacceptable, then abide by that rule. They are doing it to protect our military men and women. Please respect their wishes.

Considerate/Amiable

The creator and helper. You are kind-hearted and avoid conflicts. People often ask you for favors because they can count on you. You hardly ever say the word ‘No’. You can blend into any situation well. You have a very laid-back personality that everyone enjoys because you can work easily with anyone. You could be very sensitive at times and bottle up emotions. You can easily gain friends, but you’d rather be in solitude. You tend to say yes to everyone that you end up putting too much on your plate. Although you can have your time in the spotlight sometimes, you are mostly a listener. Be careful not to be a doormat! You can tend to put others before you sometimes even if you don’t want to help! Saying ‘No’ will not break a friendship.